Introspection and Feedback Loops

in·tro·spec·tion – noun – Observation or examination of one’s own mental and emotional state, mental processes, etc.; the act of looking within oneself.

Introspection is both good and bad. It’s good because it can show you a lot about yourself, including why you do and say certain things. At the same time it’s bad, because most of us are our own worst critics.

For those who are blessed/cursed with a really good memory, laying bare their actions and emotions can be harrowing. (I’m raising my hand on this one!) It’s easy to get caught in an endless loop of “what if” and “why did/didn’t I.”

I don’t have degrees that qualify me to tell you how to handle introspection or its effects on you. I won’t even give you a pop psych armchair version. I’m in the middle of a personal, introspective hell, and this is my attempt to break the feedback loop. If something resonates with you, great. If not, that’s okay too. To each their own.

Introspection and feedback loops

Over the years, introspection has shown me one of my biggest failings. I have an inordinately hard time forgiving myself for my mistakes. I am MUCH harder on myself than anyone else is. Plus, I don’t always rebound by focusing on the positive side of what I’ve learned from them. This is a problem I work on overcoming every day.

I have figured out that my perfectionist tendencies and my sense of self-worth are part of this tangled mess. It’s a starting point, I guess, although definitely not a comfortable one. Then again, my introspective moments are seldom about the easy stuff.

Breaking the loop: Reinforce the positive

I have gained some positive insights from my introspective moments. They’re the kind that give me the warm fuzzies while also making me feel truly humble.

I’ve had opportunities that are out of reach for many people. Some instances that come readily to mind include,

• Working on race cars at local short tracks.
• Starting to hone my musical talent and skills at a very young age.
• Breaking into a role in advertising and marketing with no background in it, but willing and eager to learn.

I’ve earned the friendship and caring of some wonderful people. The one who will be there for you through thick and thin, despite not seeing each other very often anymore. I’m forever thankful to these people, who help me stay grounded and sane when my world spins out of control.

I’m blessed to have parents who nurtured, supported, and encouraged me to make a splash in this big ol’ world. Grazie. I don’t have adequate words to tell you how much you mean to me.

On that note, having brought myself back to a more positive state of mind, I’ll say adieu.