real life Archives - Tracey Byrnes

April 4, 2012

Change Is What You Make of It

Change is a constant in our lives. We grow older; we change our jobs, our place of residence, what we like to eat, the technology we use and how we use it…the list goes on. Change is sexy, bewildering, scary, exciting, costly and invigorating, all at the same time–and it’s often the most difficult aspect of our lives to deal with, putting us through some of the worst angst-ridden moments we’ve ever experienced.

Right now, my life is all about change. Some changes are ones I decided to make. Some changes were thrust upon me, whether I wanted them or not. Then there are the changes to the world I live in…the ones close at hand as well as the bigger, global picture.

There are things I’m learning (or re-learning) through this time of change. I’ll be the first to admit that not all of them are positive. That’s not to say that all of them are negative, either, although it often feels that way. For instance, I’m constantly being reminded that the mirror of self-reflection is usually much harsher than the lenses through which your friends and family view you. I’m also being reminded that there are plenty of bright spots in life, and I need to seize and enjoy them to their fullest.

The biggest, scariest and at the same time most liberating thing I’ve re-learned from these experiences is that change itself is a catalyst. I can take it as a challenge to make improvements, or see it as an obstacle. I can choose to do nothing at all and get swept away by the actions and opinions of others. I can use it to reinvent myself, or at least my perceptions and behaviors. What I make of it, the lessons I choose to learn from it, are entirely up to me.

So bring it on, change. You may scare the crap out of me…and I may have to lie doggo long enough to catch my breath after some of the body blows you’re dealing out…but I refuse to back down from you.

March 4, 2012

Inspiration Alone ≠ Success

Inspiration comes in many forms, from many places, events, things and people. Success often comes from inspiration, but almost never without putting in a lot of work. Hard, unglamorous, often tedious work that’s fraught with mistakes and anxiety. So how do you get from inspiration to success? Do the work.

Whatever your idea is, think it through. Do some research. Try it, and be prepared to keep trying it…repeatedly. And just when you think you’ve got it right, be flexible enough to try a different aspect of it. But don’t paralyze yourself by keeping things in the concept stage: inspiration is only the first step to success. Take action, keep moving and do the work to make yourself, your product or your idea successful.

Photo credit: owips.com

February 12, 2012

Sh*t Happens in life. Deal.

Life often changes in a hurry. That ‘s certainly been the case for me in the past couple of weeks. There’s been a lot going on…some good, some bad, some really painful…and I’m still absorbing the hits and trying to sort it all out. For the moment, I’m simply putting one metaphorical foot in front of the other; a “just take the next single step” mantra.

Will I get through these changes? Ultimately yes; I’ve developed too much stubborn willpower not to. Is it going to change who I am as a person and how I go about living my life? Most likely. After all, that’s part of living, and the lessons learned from doing so. The things that matter most (as I constantly remind myself) are that I keep believing in myself and my abilities, and that I hold true to the things I believe in. Things like Friendship. Compassion. Love. Honesty. Integrity. A sense of self-worth, without being arrogant and overbearing.

The one constant in life is that it changes. It’s up to you to make the best of it.

Photo credit: Glitter Graphics

February 1, 2012

Simple Mistakes…Aren’t Always Simple

I was cruising through one of my social media feeds the other day, and encountered a situation caused by a couple of well-intentioned people making simple mistakes. No big deal, right? We make them all the time.

Um, yeah…as it turned out, VERY big deal. Here’s the scenario:

Person A, Person B, Person C and Person D are having a conversation in a closed social media group. Person A asks what time doors open/what events held where for a particular event, not realizing that Person E already provided this information in a separate post to the group. Person C suggests that Person D might want to remove Person A’s comment, as the question has already been answered. Thinking that this makes sense and will cause less confusion, Person D goes ahead and removes Person A’s comment. Person A gets completely pissed off and blasts back with an “I can’t believe you censored me for that question” response for all to see. Explanations and apologies are posted for all eyes by Persons B, C and D, but the damage is already done, and the consequences are still unfolding.

In fairness, none of the people in this story are experienced community managers; they also don’t know the best practices. However, the mistakes they made could’ve been easily avoided with just a little bit more thought to the possible consequences.

While it might seem logical to remove a question that’s already been answered from the comment feed, it doesn’t take into account that the person asking it might not have seen the other post; especially since it wasn’t within the comment thread where they asked their question. Then there’s the little matter of whether its removal is likely to open a can of worms that no one wants to deal with.

Here’s the “best practices” nutshell version. Unless it’s spam or in violation of the group’s policies, it’s seldom a good idea to remove a comment or post. It’s better to just leave it up there. Why? Here are some of the easy reasons: You’re less likely to piss people off. Your actions probably won’t require apologies or have unintended consequences…which can get bigger and last much longer than you’d think. There are fewer hard feelings to tiptoe around, which means better group interaction. And for an extra bonus? Other group members often take it upon themselves to deal with the repeated/annoying/”what were you thinking?!?” questions and issues for you.

So..the next time you’re tempted to just delete a comment/question/post that’s annoying you (for whatever reason), think before you do. Because simple mistakes aren’t always so simple, especially in social media.

Have any “war stories” you want to share? Feel free to leave them in the Comments section!

Photo credit: David Castillo Dominici